Walking back into the Light

These are a couple of social media posts I have made, over the last 17 months. 

I have made some significant personal changes, and may reconstitute this blog accordingly. 

At least in order to include this new stage of my life, not necessarily become the sole topic of this blog. 

In addition to semi-retiring from the “rat race,” in order to become a fulltime researcher and author, I am putting my past experience in paganism to academic and literary use, as I further study materials pertaining to Angelology, Demonology, Exorcisms, Sacramental Rites, and the differences between the Roman Catholic Church, The Eastern Orthodox Churches, and the Coptic Christian Church, mainly historical and fundamental doctrinal variances. 

Anyway… I would just like to share. I am not the same man I was a decade ago. Moreso even from three years ago. 

I'm not even sure anyone reads this blog, anymore. But, here goes... 

[*Some current notes have been added below, throughout] 

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[posted on Gab] 

My sojourn back to God 

Oct 15, 2021 

So, after meeting with my [new] Pastor last night, a nice three hour talk over ale and dinner, about the world today, the evil spreading everywhere, our insane subculture/cancel culture, etc., we also delved into the Lutheran doctrine (LCMS). 

I have completed my adult [Lutheran] catechism and (after years of research, comparisons, soul searching) have decided to be confirmed Lutheran (for those unfamiliar- think ‘evangelical catholic’, or as I heard in a podcast, jokingly, ‘diet catholic.’ Lutheran is the first protestant church: see Martin Luther – The Reformation.) 

I was raised baptist, then charismatic, brethren, presbyterian, and evangelical. 

Then I left the faith thirty years ago. 

I got mad at God and walked away. 

I spent years in various pagan traditions and the occult, even practiced the medicine path for a time. 

I went to college at 30 and discovered existentialism and nihilism. For a time, I hovered somewhere between agnostic and atheist for a long time. 

Then, Trump came and I watched the evil of this world reveal themselves openly after Billary lost the election. I watched as society turned itself inside out [and the Left went insane]. 

I watched as Revelations began to unfold. 

Long story short - I couldn’t ignore what I learned from the Bible in my youth, as prophecy came to pass. 

I began a very awkward, humble, procrastinated shuffle back to Christianity. But this time I did research [rather than blindly following someone else - ie., a family member or friend], found the denomination that not only felt right for me but scripturally [seems most] right. 

It’s hard, though. I sin. Every day. But I am determined to keep going, because it’s what’s right, because it’s what we’re supposed to do, it’s what my heart says to do, and because [I believe] I know what’s coming. 

I encourage all y’all to think on this, if you’re unsure or unwilling to kneel before God [let alone admit to yourselves that God really exists]. Our time here is growing shorter. Eventually, it’ll run out. Then it’ll be too late. 

Talk to God. Ask for his help, his guidance. 

Think about going to church. Find one that suits your spiritual needs and feels like a good fit. [Though I highly recommend one of the older Churches – pre-1600. Remember… the farther back in time we go, religiously, the closer to Christ we find ourselves. Look to the ancient Christian doctrines first.] 

And be not ashamed. [This world is wicked and demonic. Many will scorn you for seeking the moral, righteous narrow path to God. Stay the course.] 

God bless. 

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[posted on Gab] 

May 6, 2023 

[This is in response to a social media post by a Traditional Catholic. He had asked why Protestants rarely refer to themselves as Protestant, noting that Catholics and Orthodox are open and unhindered about proclaiming themselves as such. Many of the replies seemed to be from protestants, and they were not very nice. What follows here, is my rebuttal and comment to them.] 

[*Note - this describes, briefly, where I currently am in my Christian sojourn.] 

Reading through these responses clearly demonstrate why, after all these centuries, we're all [Christian denominations] still split up. We can't even find common ground on the number of Sacraments, let alone doctrine and Church history. 

This is what put folks like me off for so many years. 

I was raised mainly Baptist [as well as a few other Protestant denominations]. 

Then, I was pagan [black arts witch, wiccan, wittan, stregan, enochian, egyptian, hermetic, asatru, neomedicine path] and then [thanks to college], agnostic for decades. 

God led me back. That's a longer story [see previous post]. 

I had to do my own research, for a long time, about my direction. What Church should I go to? God gave me a few, very clear, way too coincidental hints/nudges on which way to go. 

I ended up at an LCMS Lutheran Church. 

Then, more reading and podcasts, more nudges, a year later I found myself in RCIA and attending Mass. I finally feel that my spirit [soul] is involved [engaged] and where it belongs. 

But I still have grave reservations about a few things. Mainly, what's been going on in the Church since 1962 [see “Vatican 2 controversy”]. And I think [Pope] Francis is demonically misled. 

So, I have also been reading about [Catholic] Traditionalism and [Catholic] Sedevacantism [as well as studying contemporary Church history, and portions of ancient through Medieval Church history, to gain a fuller understanding]. 

The deeper I go, in all my studies, the more I find that I have More to learn than previously thought... that I am not 100% convinced which path (Orthodox, R. Catholic, or Protestant.) is definitively correct, but I am going where God is leading me... And [in addition,] once I Finally sat down and took the time to understand about Mary and the Saints, I discovered that Protestants are wildly uninformed/misinformed on the entire subject [of Marianology and the Intercession of Saints]... and the Triune God [equally God, Jesus, & The Holy Spirit] is the true understanding [of the Trinity] (sorry, Orthos). 

The end result for me is that 95% of what Catholics and Orthodox do seems correct. Only about 30-50% is true for [some] Protestants [while other Protestant denoms are closer to 5-25% correct, like Jehovah's Witness, Mormons, or any progressive church that condones open defiance of God's Word]. 

This is my personal, informed observation as a Philosopher and an Historian, not as a Theologian [although, I am striving to become a Theologian - at least an amateur one]. 

So, I am trusting Christ to continue guiding me. 

But I'm pretty much in the Trad Catholic camp, now. [I attend Mass. I pray the Rosary. I’m seeking Confirmation, hopefully by next year. I may even take a few courses in Catholic Studies at the local Catholic University, just to further my knowledge and aid my research.] 

My youngest son is being brought up in Catholic, in a good Catholic School. [We pray and attend Mass together.] 

Everything feels to be in the right place in our lives, now. Religiously/Spiritually-speaking. 

Also, my 75 year old Baptist mom didn't freak out when I told her I was in Catechism. 

That’s a Bonus. 

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To absent best friends and family. 

Know that you are ever missed and ever loved. 

May you survive and thrive in these dark times. 

And may God watch over you.

Me, Connor, Wenny - Jan 2020

Bismarck, ND

Gavin, Connor, Wenny, Me, Liam -  Oct 2018

San Diego USMC Recruit Depot

Connor, Me - Oct 2018

Connor - Oct 2018

Me and Liam - July 2018

Lake Sibley, ND

                                 Where we're headed as a nation and society...

        *Originally posted on a conservative forum I belonged to in August 2019:

    Nine months ago, I officially gave Twitter, Jack, and the rest of the leftist nutbags the finger and abandoned Twitter. Account is deactivated. App’s gone from my phone. Link is deleted from my PC browser. [And since I discovered that I was perma-banned]
It’s just become too stupid and vicious. And, sadly, I was getting caught up in the (as Glenn Beck put it) “Outrage” addiction.
    I turned 50 on that day. People still tell me I look like I’m mid-30s. But I’m 50. That means I have had the opportunity to observe close to 4.5 decades of societal change in this country, on this planet. I have watched as our schools eroded. I have witnessed the weirdo, drug addicted, zero morals leftists from the late 60s/early 70s slowly worm their way into our educational system and political machine, and change things from within - for the worse. I have seen tyrants and crooks lose power only to be replaced by others who took up the corruption mantle and became despots themselves. I have watched technology blossom and then get stuck for twenty years in a reboot/upgrade/expansion cycle (we should be living on the Moon by now). And I have watched, over the past 25 years, as the democrats used "hope and change" mantras to deceive the general populace, while they insidiously worked their socialist agenda into our daily lives, beginning at the most rudimentary level with the most basic social programs and policies, from welfare expansion, to mandatory seat belts, to social services kidnapping children, to widespread indoctrination in our schools, universities, and media & literary venues. 

    Now, they are crafting legislation to destroy our 2nd Amendment, greatly restrict or abolish portions of the 1st Amendment, openly ignore the 4th Amendment, and discussing the real likelihood of enacting the 25th Amendment. We have democrats who ran a campaign on an openly socialist platform and WON. We have ignorant, mentally deranged, fascist thugs roaming portions of the larger leftist metropolises, starting brawls, riots, destroying property, sending people to the hospital, stealing, committing arson… all while the local police either stand back and watch or show up in riot gear but do very little to halt these lunatics from breaking the law. And uneducated buffoons like Bloomberg and Pelosi want you to call those same police forces to come save you in an active shooter situation, rather than you being armed yourself and saving your own life or that of your family’s.
    I have seen a lot of change in the world over the past 50 years. Most of it was not for the better. Perhaps more interesting. More distractions and social opiates (like smartphones, tablets, 1200 cable channels and lifelike sim video games). But in general, we have lost our way. Facts are apparently no longer truth (just ask Biden). Virtue is scoffed at. Morals have become subjective. Honor isn’t even understood anymore. Honesty is relative. Ethics, principles, integrity are meaningless when compared to convenience, instant gratification, and reality shows.
    God has become a relic of a long forgotten era, or so thinks most youth and many adults these days. Instead of the creator of the universe, he is seen as a fairy spirit in the sky that has no more validity than a unicorn or a smurf.
    While I may struggle with my belief, hence my agnosticism, I understand the need for a divinity in our society. Without the thought of an all-father watching over us, and someday passing judgment on us, it seems most people simply run amok. It’s like the parents are gone for the weekend, so they break in to the liquor cabinet and re-enact Animal House. Whether God exists or not, we need God to be in our world, in our heads and hearts, in our actions and intentions, in our nation and our homes. He is sorely lacking in all these places today, and we are seeing the damage it is causing.
    In 50 years, I have gone from thinking the world was somewhat manageable and ok to utterly chaotic and in a tailspin. My last perception, I think, is the most accurate.
    As a student of history, I have read about the internal strife and collapse of many civilizations and countries. What I see today sends chills up my spine, because what I see, read, and hear from our own nation and world is echoing what I have read in many of my historical texts. Nazi Germany, Communist China, Rogue North Korea, and Stalin's Soviet Union used the same tactics and rhetoric as today's leftists (democrat, socialist, progressive, liberal sheep) employ.
    If we do not retake our country from those who would see it undone, then I fear within a generation - two at the most - we will no longer have an America.
    So, I will sit here at my desk, sipping my coffee, thinking of my family and the possible battles ahead. If they come, I hope they come when I am still young enough to hump it through a field with a rifle and a pack, and spare most of my children the need to endure what our direct ancestors had to endure on the east coast, 244 years ago.
    My father is a marine. One thing he taught me was always be prepared, hope for the best, and expect the worst.
    No matter how crazy this might sound - America is tearing itself apart and headed for a 2nd civil war (or perhaps Revolution). It’s happened before, virtually everywhere else. It can most certainly happen again. How ready are we? Who will actually stand up? How many folks on the wrong side of the line (yes, I am talking about you, Leftists) will realize it, before it's too late, and rejoin their fellow Americans to save their homeland from its decadent, out of control spiral to ruin?

A belated farewell to the best Vulcan

    When I was a young boy, every week I would spend a particular evening with my family gathered in the living room. My mother would be sitting on the sofa, my father in his recliner with a jar of planter roasted peanuts. My younger sister and brother would be laying on the floor with me, all of us at my father's feet.

    At the designated magical time, the TV screen would go black, then we'd see a few stars appear, moving, then that familiar music followed by a young William Shatner's voice, "Space... the final frontier...".

As I was too young to have been witness to the original airing of the series, Star Trek was rerun for many years during most of the 1970s. My exposure to Sci-Fi, Star Trek, and the varied personalities, as well as philosophical concepts and questions began at an early age. It would seem I may have paid attention more than I realized at the time. My way of thinking began to change, grow. Not simply with age, but in my perception of the universe at large, the people within it, why things were the way they were, and how they could be made better.

    One of the key figures in my birth of knowledge-seeking was a strange and (mostly) stoic character many have come to revere as an icon of intellect we should all strive to become. A human-vulcan hybrid named Spock.

    Admittedly, when I was young, Kirk was my hero, as he was to most boys of that time and culture. However, as I aged, and my interest in science and astronomy began to develop, I came to notice Spock more and more. When I reached adulthood, and some level of maturity in both physical, as well as mental capacity, I found myself drawn to a new series. Star Trek The Next Generation. In it, I found myself drawn to Captain Picard and Data, as they seemed to be the more intelligent, honorable, and philosophically/logically inclined. But always in the back of my mind, I thought of Spock. That's what Spock would say, or That's what Spock would do. Somehow, sometime during my life, Spock had imprinted something into my thought process that stuck and began to shape how I processed most of my intellectual patterns and inner debates.

    I imagine it was this imprint that led me to develop a more logical means of thinking and living my life, in general. My love of philosophy grew from this, I posit, as well. I studied the subject intently, for six years, while attending my state university. Logic and Critical Thinking were the first fields, but then I soon branched out into Existentialism, Ethics and Morals, Religious, Feminist, Ancient, and a few others. The scope of my thinking and perception of how everything 'is' expanded beyond my limits, for a time. I gained a much more holistic view of the universe. My life had been changed forever, just as my thought process.

If you were to ask me twenty years ago who my heroes were, I would have said something like Spider-man, Robin Hood, the Lone Ranger, Luke Skywalker. Ask me now and I'd say Robert E. Howard's Conan, Nietzsche, Picard, Sun Tzu, Plato, Socrates, Sartre, and Spock.

    I realize Leonard Nimoy was simply an actor (as well as being very talented in many other fields), but the life he breathed into a character for a dated scfi series back in the 1960s propelled him, as that character, into legend. He became immortal. He became Spock. And he provided us with one of the greatest icons for logic, peace, and intellectual advancement we could have ever asked for.

    We will miss Mr. Nimoy, greatly. But We will miss Spock even more.

    
    Live long and prosper, Leonard.

I invaded Aliens

That's right. This past Saturday, I travelled to a local cheeze joint to immerse myself in fake, plasticy big-eyed, little-mouthed, scrawny-body alienism.

*Note   not all of the photos you see here were taken by me.

And I wanted to assess their cheeseburgers. That's right. We come fer yer burger, Chuck.     :)

This was the Planet Zombie burger. That's Alien-speak for "Taco Burger". I wasn't feeling that brave, yet.

So, I settled on my comfort zone. A cheeseburger and fries. Or "Alien Burger".

  

*queue spacey Twilight Zoney music.

The sandwich was about 30-40% larger than McDonald's Quarter Pounder and one of the better burgers I've had in life. And filling.

The fries were not bad, either. In the upper 50% category. Tastier than Five Guys' fries but not quite as good as Big Boy's.  Wow... rereading that last sentence felt reeeeally naughty.

ANYWHO... they have a FaceBook page, if you're interested. And a website, with a pdf menu I will link in this post.

Space Aliens in Bismarck was exactly what I expected. A bit crowded, lots of fluff and cheap effects, tons of tiny people running about, over-priced arcade, too long of a wait for a table, and very young adults trying to keep it all afloat.

They did have a real spacesuit, from one of the earlier Apollo missions, displayed in the arcade, however.

Neat.

But, the atmosphere was comfortable, the seating wasn't bad, the decor in peripheral blur mode was nice, and the food was awesome.

And the inside of the domed ceiling had a nice airbrushed mural of space. I would have gone with more realism, but still not bad. Better than a boring drop tile with greasy lighting.

The place was a bit expensive. $9.50 or so for a cheeseburger and fries. But at least I got a spiffy cup on request. And it is a big ass cheeseburger, folks.

All in all, worth the trip.

The building itself was interesting, if not a bit touristy.

           

Obviously not my pics. The world displayed here isn't currently in Ice Age mode. Mine is.

As promised, here is their menu. Couldn't get the pdf to upload, so this is a link to it.
Space Aliens Grill & Bar menu
Fairly standard, though they do have a few themey items listed.

I can tell you their cheeseburger rocks. And the BBQ was very good. Think it's called the Martian Munchie platter. And the Raspberry tea was enjoyable. They even have an onion blossom thing, which wasn't bad at all - but nothing compared to Outback Steakhouse's Bloomin' Onion.

On a 1 - 10 scale, for good food and good environment, I'd give it an 8.

And I will be going there again. If only for takeout.

So... This is what a tundra looks like.

This will be brief. I'm still getting settled in to my new hometown, new life, new world, new everything. Possibly even a new country? Feel pretty far removed from the world up here.

While I realize North Dakota isn't exactly Siberia, it's still pretty distant from where I grew up and the life I used to know.

The drive here was fairly rough. Stupid me for trying this in the winter time. Hit an ice covered bridge in Wisconsin and had my first ever wreck. Yay! Thanx for keeping your roads clear, cheese heads.  *flips Wisconsin both birds*    .I.  :Þ  .I.

It was a bit terrifying, though. Trailer swung out from behind my SUV and just yanked me around the bridge like a ragdoll on an ice rink. I came within about 3 feet of going over the edge. Thirty foot drop to the highway below. I got lucky. Very lucky. That could have been my end.
Regardless, took some damage to my SUV and the crappy Uhaul trailer I was pulling.

Thanks to that, it was a full two days to get here.

Ended up driving through all of Minnesota and North Dakota at night, which sucked because I wanted to See everything. never been to either. Well, not true. I was about 90 minutes into southern Minnesota once. Thirteen years ago. And it was -85 with the windchill.
But that aside, yeah. Five hundred miles of driving, in the winter, in snow, twenty below, in the dark, in two states I've never been. Did I mention I'm stupid?

So, eventually, I get to North Dakota and you can 'feel' how wide open it is. The trees were so few, I sensed their presence as I passed by. That was creepy. This boy grew up around woods and forests. They are kinda missing way up nort' here. And with all the open, and all the snow, what few lights and towns there are, sorta lit up the ground decently. And the interstate was a bit more visible than it should have been back home. Not that that helped much. My view all the way to the capital was like...

But eventually I made it. You could see the city glow for about 45 miles. Surreal. 

Once I cleared the last big hill, though (yeah, that was a joke), and the valley of my new hometown came into view, I have to admit it was pretty breath taking. Even in the dead of night, of this hellish arctic zone.

I am still getting used to things. It's a little more expensive than I am used to, but nothing like Cali or Colorado. And there is no Kroger's here. Grocery shopping just isn't the same. Especially when you see regularly stocked items on the shelf like 'Herring in Wine Sauce"  

Really? Wtf?

Lots of blonds and redheads up here, too. And beards. Many, many, Many beards. Lots of German and Nordic descent about, from what I'm told.

But the people are pretty nice. Very helpful. They kinda stick together. But I guess that becomes inherent when you live on HOTH.

This weekend should prove intriguing. We have a blizzard watch, and a wind chill warning, and a white out watch. Prolly a buffalo stampede watch in there somewhere. Perhaps a "freeze to death since you're stupid for going to ND in the winter time" watch, too.

The company does make it all worthwhile, though. Very few regrets. I miss my children, of course. And one other.

But this is what it is. And I will enjoy. One way or another.